Things to Do on a First Date!

For Guys
Display Chilvalry
Open doors, pull chairs, always act like a gentleman.(We all know it is acting,you can resume your normal self after you got her)
Be attentive
Take note on what she likes and doesnt likes as well as her usual habits and bad habits.(Extremely important as all stupid girls like a attentive guy no matter how bad is he.)
Listen to what she says
You have to give her the impression you re interested in her and not be caught checking out the hot chick nearby.
Offer to pay the bill
You re a guy remember.. You can set the rules for payment of bills when both of you are together. In the meantime, Act generous.
Walk her home
Its only right you make sure she gets home safely even though the most dangerous person she faces now is you.
Compliment her
Just to make her happy and let her think that you re interested in her.(Even though what you are interested in might not be her but her body)
For girls
Be careful
If you have read the above sections, be very careful of whom you re gonna meet. Is he a acting or is he just being himself?
Smile
"You never know who is falling in love with your smile so do smile more!"(Just dont smile at every other thing! You ll look like an idiot)
Dress appropriately
You dont want him to be staring at your body all day long as it is practically popping out from your little top.(Is not his fault, you know?)
Try to pay
We ALL know that guys should pay. But there is no harm to try and offer to pay. After all, nothing is free in this world...
And finally...
Hint him that you only treat him as a friend if you are not interested in him.It is only right if after the first date you show what you feel and not mislead him into thinking otherwise. We know its a great feeling to be wanted as you might not get as much attention normally..

www.datehints.com

How to Make Everyone Lov...oops...Hate You!

To make everyone HATE you, you need to be creative, because you are the only one who knows what can really drive your friends and folks crazy! However, here are some tips just to inspire you...

First of all you need to change your inner thoughts;Tell yourself every day: "With no exception, I am the only one who really matters!Me,me and only me!" and be sure this IS true.
The next step is starting to act like a certified bastard;

For example when your wife talks your head off saying: “The garage needs to be cleaned-up”, what’s the use of troubling yourself? She can handle it on her own.
Why should you care any way about your husband who keeps telling you:” I’m desperate to have some home-cooked meal, it’s been a year now since the last time! ”.

What’s to worry about when your parents start accusing you of being a “pain in the neck”? Or when your roommate complains about not being able to sleep the whole night because your socks stink?!

Remember; don’t give a damn about them! YOU are the only one who really matters. You don’t have to listen to their problems, you have enough of yours. If somebody’s parent were sick, what does it have to do with you? That is absolutely their problem. Well…they’ve once helped you with your math exam, but does it mean you’ll have to help them now to have their car washed? Nonsense!

You just go you own way and don’t bother; No matter they’ve been there for you all the time; Well, nobody asked them to!
It’s not your business if someone needs to talk to you. What do they have to say, any way? Some silly words, you bet!
So, go where you like and do what you want. That’s all that matters. It’s all for you. And the rest…let them go to hell!

Following the process above, I guarantee you'll be the most damn hateful person many people have ever known; Just don't say you are already one!

25 Tips to Enjoy Yourself in the Exam!

You have had alot of fun during the term and it's the exam time. For sure you don't have the slightest clue what are the questions about. However,

remember to enjoy yourself even though you are sure you are going to fail the exam. Here are some tips :

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

3. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

4. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

5. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

6. Bring pets.

7. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

8. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

9. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

10. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

11. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

13. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach

14. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

15. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

17. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "

18. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

19. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

20. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

21. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

22. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

23. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

24. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

25. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher".

And finally , if there were any time left, consider studying for the next exam!

www.aha!jokes.com

Being Right!

Every person is entitled to certain rights – simply by the fact that they are a human being. They are "rights" because they are things you are allowed to be, to do or to have. They are also there to help us get along with each other and live in peace.
Many people know something about their rights. They know they have a right to be paid for the work they do and they have a right to vote. But there exist many other rights.
When human rights are not well known by people, abuses such as discrimination, intolerance, injustice, oppression and slavery can arise.
Born out of the atrocities and enormous loss of life during World War II, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was created by the United Nations to provide a common understanding of what everyone’s rights are. It forms the basis for a world built on freedom, justice and peace.
Here are the points you'd better remember all over your life:

1 #:

We Are All Born Free & Equal

#2:
Don't Discriminate
#3:
The Right to Life
#4:
No Slavery
#5:
No Torture
#6:
You Have Rights No Matter Where You Go
#7:
We're All Equal Before the Law
#8:
Your Human Rights Are Protected by Law
#9:
No Unfair Detainment
#10:
The Right to Trial
#11:
We're Always Innocent Till Proven Guilty
#12:
The Right to Privacy
#13:
Freedom to Move
#14:
The Right to Seek a Safe Place to Live
#15:
Right to a Nationality
#16:
Marriage and Family
#17:
The Right to Your Own Things
#18:
Freedom of Thought
#19:
Freedom of Expression
#20:
The Right to Public Assembly
#21:
The Right to Democracy
#22:
Social Security
#23:
Workers' Rights
#24:
The Right to Play
#25:
Food and Shelter for All
#26:
The Right to Education
#27:
Copyright
#28:
A Fair and Free World
#29:
Responsibility

#30:
No One Can Take Away Your Human Rights!

www.youthforhumanrights.org

Why Do We Pretend to Be Vegetarians?

People get worried and uncomfortable when it comes to inviting a vegetarian over for dinner or so. To be honest they are not that wrong to feel so anxious since it takes alot of effort and creativity to avoid the boredom of salads. Moreover, there is nothing filling like meat which is considered a fancy tasty dish of all parties. Yet, we are facing the rising number of vegetarians or even the ones who pretend to be one(!) and reconsidering the whole thing, it does make sense any way.
Imagine you are going to meet some new people and are determined to make a good first impression by showing how thoughtful and caring you are.Well, what would work better than claiming to be a vegetarian? Take my advice: It’s always cool to be one ( take Paul McCartney of The Beatles as an example).
Besides, if you are about to save money in order to spend it on better things than your tummy, vegetarian diets are here for you. No doubt that broccoli,cauliflower and beets cost much less than beef.
Above all, to keep healthy enough to enjoy all the fun and luxury of your life and to make sure you are protected against heart diseases, diabetes, cancers, obesity and well…mad cow disease, you’ll have to consider being a vegetarian.
And finally, the last yet simply not the least is the fact that it takes more energy to raise and produce animal meat than the meat itself provides. Take this example: The grain given to a cow of 800 pounds can serve to keep alive 20 children of about 40 pounds. So, by my math, you kill 20 children to have some well-done beef on your dining table.
Yummy...!

http://www.tgmag.ca
http://www.free-diet.biz/vegetarian-diet-publisher.html

Let's Bow Our Heads and Pray for Their Loved Ones.

The gunman in the Virginia Tech massacre was a sullen loner who alarmed professors and classmates with his twisted, violence-drenched creative writing and left a rambling note raging against women and rich kids. In the end, 33 people were dead,many were badly injured and the rest in the state of shock in what has become the nation's deadliest shooting spree ;Not to mention, the number of people dying of injeries is still growing...Lets pray for them all.

http://news.yahoo.com

My Hot Enemy!

I didn’t have the slightest clue that what had made me think I had what it took. It wasn’t my first interview; Yet, clearly the biggest. I’d been sitting there for half an hour then, feeling dizzy owing to the smell of the newly-painted walls, staring at the cheerful staff there and wondering if I could ever be so. I looked across the stuffy room : The first one who caught my eyes was the “M.A Lady” who was hard-workingly boasting her degree, then a short guy with the longest C.V I'd ever seen which was crying “EXPERIENCED”. It was like everybody there was a beautiful swan and I … "the odd duck"! Just that very moment I realized how much I hated the yellow light in the room! But was THAT really the cause of my nausea? I don’t think so…
Just then I felt some itchy heaviness of somebody’s eyes on me which made look around and there I spotted some hot guy coming toward me. The paint was bothering me a lot for I thought I was choking. I sat there still waiting for some polite “ How are you?”, but…
- “How old are you?”
What the heck?! Had I heard him wrong? Was it too clear that I was simply the youngest there? I was too confused to answer.
-“What have you studied at university?”
It was his next question which reminded me of a famous question ( What grade are you?) that is commonly asked while talking to school kids!
-“I’m just about to start literature this year.“ I answered uncomfortably.
-“Any experience?”
He was not going to give up for sure!
-“No” I said impatiently.
Then, giving me some strange look ,which was somehow familiar, he said his last sentence:
-“From what I already know , trust me, you are wasting your time here, baby!”
Excuse me?! That moment, I could’ve easily told him: Yeah bastard! I’m certainly wasting my time talking to YOU! Or even better, I could’ve slapped him and rushed out of that hell. But just out of the blue I came across a better idea: What if I kicked his ass in the interview?
Yeah, that was the way to do it !
The meeting was about to start. At the right time and before he even knew it, I volunteered to open the meeting( which was actually a group interview) with my presentation. Feeling terribly insulted, I emptied my mind of any thing else and tried to make the best out of it. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to impress my interviewers and to receive such assuring smiles. Right then, proud of my presentation, I looked at MY ENEMY to show off my victory; but just then I got to realize the meaning of that strange, yet familiar look: FEAR!
Was he afraid too?!

When I was in fear, I tried to ignore my rivals’ abilities and he tried to focus on their disabilities…well,we were not much different, any way.
suddenly, I didn’t want him to fail any more...
Now,after three years, as one of my dearest coworkers, he never refers to that day for he thinks what happened that day had nothing to do with him. But I know that everthing that day, had many things to do with him!