The Lighter Side of Engineering

By: Andy Gallagher, Undergraduate in Materials Science and Engineering

There once was a kid falling asleep

In a class about stresses on beams,

A contest of poetry,

For engineers only,

Was the answer to his wildest dreams.

There once was an engineer named Brad,

Whose major was picked by his dad,

Brad hated equations,

Switched to education,

And now Brad's glad dad was sad.

Avagadro was a very smart man,

With way too much time on his hands,

Six point zero two three,

Times ten to the power of twenty-three,

I'll never need to know that again.

There once was an engineer named Steve,
. . . . .

He tried all the math,

The math kicked his ass,

So he switched his major to humanities.

There once lived a professor named Orange,

Whose name wasn't conducive to poems.

There once was an engineer who liked physics,

He understood Newtonian mechanics,

His confidence was high,

But one day it died,

When he had to learn quantum mechanics.

There once was a 5th year engineer,

Who had to start worrying about a career,

He heard that his degree

Would earn him lots of money,

But the Army was all he could find that year. . .

Who are you?

The world-famous host, Dr Phil, always comes up with new ways to surprise his fans. I, as a big fan, ran into an interesting test designed by him which caught me again. Go through it to catch yourself red-handed (I’m embarrassed to say I have a perfect “poser personality”! ).

Life Strategies Personality Tests
We all have a certain way of "being in the world." Everybody has a look, an attitude, a certain role and demeanor that they choose when dealing with others. This is your personality and it dictates what you get back from the world. Here are some examples of personalities to which the world reacts. You may find yourself here, or you may have to create your own category.

Porcupine Personality
These people just seem to have a chip on their shoulder. They walk into every situation expecting to be offended. They're determined to find fault with anything and everything going on around them. No matter what the situation, they're quick to personalize any act or statement as offensive to their sensibilities. They're prickly. Trying to get close to them is like trying to hug a porcupine. As a result, people engage them, if at all, at arm's length. The world recognizes that interacting with the porcupine is a lose-lose situation. Porcupines typically complain about how cold people are around them; they're baffled by other people's standoffishness. Porcupines don't seem to understand that they act in that way, and that people are simply responding in kind.
To find out if you're a Porcupine, answer these questions:
1. Do people walk on eggshells around you, unsure when you will erupt in anger?
2. Do you often feel defensive no matter what anyone tries to bring up with you?
3. Do you "think" your mate can't do anything right?
4. Do you greet your mate at the door with problems before even saying hello?
5. Is hugging you like trying to hug a porcupine?

Chicken Little Personality
The world is coming to an end and these people know it. Whether it's at work, at home, in their relationships, the economy, or the weather, a collapse is imminent. These people are anxious and urgent. They play the game of life with sweaty palms. They go from one imagined crisis to another. Others find their histrionics irritating and tiresome.
To find out if you're a Chicken Little, answer these questions:
1. Do you wake up several times in the night to check on your child?
2. Do you feel "doom" is lurking around every corner?
3. Do you always visualize the worst-case scenario?
4. Does your worrying irritate those around you?
5. Do you feel like there is always a crisis to deal with?

Poser Personality
Posers might as well be mannequins in a department store display. They act in the most superficial manner imaginable. They behave as if stupidity were a virtue and superficiality divine. Their goal is to look better than you and make sure you know it. They spend most of their time striking poses and using phony self-criticisms to elicit compliments. Trying to make a Poser feel secure is like trying to fill a bottomless pit. Because they insist on engaging the world superficially, Posers create an experience devoid of genuineness and intimacy.
To find out if you're a Poser, answer these questions:
1. Do you always wear makeup when you leave your house?
2. Is your closet full of only designer labels?
3. Do you make sure you hold your designer purse with the label facing OUT at all times?
4. When you walk into a room, do you check to see if you look better than everyone else?
5. Would you rather be caught dead than seen in clothes from discount department stores?
6. Do you make friends based on their money, connections and prestige to make you look good?

Whiner Personality
For these people, nothing is okay. It's too hot or it's too cold. It's too far; they're too tired; it's too hard. As the saying goes, these people would "bitch if they were hung with a new rope." Nobody pays attention to or cares about them enough; life is not fair. They didn't get the same deal or the same treatment as everybody else. Whine, whine, whine. These people experience the world as an agonizing and very personal ordeal. In response, the people around them want to slap them and scream, "Shut up and deal with it! But mainly, just shut up!"

Thanks to Dr. Phil again.

Taken from www.DrPhil.com

Let's Celebrate!

I’ve been really delighted to know we were assigned to do blogging in our essay
-writing class. Owing to the course professor, Dr. Marandi, I am assured that it is going to be something really worth to be given a try. So, for the moment I’m determined to give it my best shot; Give me a hand to make the best out of it… .But also there is another beginning which is the dearest to all iranians: The New Year in Iran starts in the first day of spring (March 21st), and is a very significant time for Persians.

Norouz, new day or New Year as the Iranians call it, is a celebration of spring Equinox. It is the most cherished of all the Iranian festivals and is celebrated by all.
A major part of the New Year rituals is setting a special table with seven specific items present, Haft Sin (Haft chin, seven crops before Islam). In the ancient times each of the items corresponded to one of the seven creations and the seven holy immortals protecting them. Today they are changed and modified but some have kept their symbolism. All the seven items start with the letter ‘S’.
1.Sabze(Wheat or lentil) representing new growth is grown in a flat dish a few days before the New Year and is called ‘Sabzeh’ (meaning green shoots). Decorated with colorful ribbons it is kept till the last day and will be disposed off on ‘Sizdeh be dar’, the 13th day while outdoors.
2.sepand, esfand seeds of wild rue often placed in a small incense burner and burned just after the turn of the year
3.sib (apples)
4.sekke a few newly minted coins
5.sir (fresh garlic) which is used to warn off bad omen.
6.serke vinegar
7.a bowl of samanu: a thick, sweet paste reddish in color, made of wheat, water, oil, flour, almonds or walnuts. Some used to be distributed among neighbors, who return the container together with one or more colored eggs or a green leaf.

There are some other things which are appreciated at Norouz table:

A few live gold fish (the most easily obtainable animal) are placed in a fish bowl.

Mirrors are placed on the spread with lit candles as a symbol of fire. Zoroastrians today place the lit candle in front of the mirror to increase the reflection of the light. Mirrors were significant items in Zoroastrian symbolism art and architecture, and still are an integral part of most Iranian celebrations including marriage ceremony. They are used extensively in Iranian mystical literature as well and represent self-reflection. All Iranian burial shrines are still extensively decorated with mirrors, a popular decorative style of the ancient times. Light is regarded as sacred by the Zoroastrians and the use of mirrors multiplies the reflection of the light.

Egg a universal symbol of fertility corresponding to the mother earth, Sepanta Armaiti is still present. The eggs are hard-boiled and traditionally are colored in red, green or yellow, colors favored by Zoroastrians. Recently following the Easter Egg tradition, any color is used and they are elaborately decorated. The eggs are offered to children as treats. And at the end:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
http://www.iranonline.com/
http://homeyra.wordpress.com/2007/03/20/haft-sin/