How to Make Everyone Lov...oops...Hate You!

To make everyone HATE you, you need to be creative, because you are the only one who knows what can really drive your friends and folks crazy! However, here are some tips just to inspire you...

First of all you need to change your inner thoughts;Tell yourself every day: "With no exception, I am the only one who really matters!Me,me and only me!" and be sure this IS true.
The next step is starting to act like a certified bastard;

For example when your wife talks your head off saying: “The garage needs to be cleaned-up”, what’s the use of troubling yourself? She can handle it on her own.
Why should you care any way about your husband who keeps telling you:” I’m desperate to have some home-cooked meal, it’s been a year now since the last time! ”.

What’s to worry about when your parents start accusing you of being a “pain in the neck”? Or when your roommate complains about not being able to sleep the whole night because your socks stink?!

Remember; don’t give a damn about them! YOU are the only one who really matters. You don’t have to listen to their problems, you have enough of yours. If somebody’s parent were sick, what does it have to do with you? That is absolutely their problem. Well…they’ve once helped you with your math exam, but does it mean you’ll have to help them now to have their car washed? Nonsense!

You just go you own way and don’t bother; No matter they’ve been there for you all the time; Well, nobody asked them to!
It’s not your business if someone needs to talk to you. What do they have to say, any way? Some silly words, you bet!
So, go where you like and do what you want. That’s all that matters. It’s all for you. And the rest…let them go to hell!

Following the process above, I guarantee you'll be the most damn hateful person many people have ever known; Just don't say you are already one!

25 Tips to Enjoy Yourself in the Exam!

You have had alot of fun during the term and it's the exam time. For sure you don't have the slightest clue what are the questions about. However,

remember to enjoy yourself even though you are sure you are going to fail the exam. Here are some tips :

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

3. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

4. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

5. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

6. Bring pets.

7. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

8. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

9. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

10. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

11. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

13. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach

14. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

15. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

17. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "

18. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

19. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

20. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

21. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

22. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

23. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

24. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

25. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher".

And finally , if there were any time left, consider studying for the next exam!

www.aha!jokes.com

Being Right!

Every person is entitled to certain rights – simply by the fact that they are a human being. They are "rights" because they are things you are allowed to be, to do or to have. They are also there to help us get along with each other and live in peace.
Many people know something about their rights. They know they have a right to be paid for the work they do and they have a right to vote. But there exist many other rights.
When human rights are not well known by people, abuses such as discrimination, intolerance, injustice, oppression and slavery can arise.
Born out of the atrocities and enormous loss of life during World War II, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was created by the United Nations to provide a common understanding of what everyone’s rights are. It forms the basis for a world built on freedom, justice and peace.
Here are the points you'd better remember all over your life:

1 #:

We Are All Born Free & Equal

#2:
Don't Discriminate
#3:
The Right to Life
#4:
No Slavery
#5:
No Torture
#6:
You Have Rights No Matter Where You Go
#7:
We're All Equal Before the Law
#8:
Your Human Rights Are Protected by Law
#9:
No Unfair Detainment
#10:
The Right to Trial
#11:
We're Always Innocent Till Proven Guilty
#12:
The Right to Privacy
#13:
Freedom to Move
#14:
The Right to Seek a Safe Place to Live
#15:
Right to a Nationality
#16:
Marriage and Family
#17:
The Right to Your Own Things
#18:
Freedom of Thought
#19:
Freedom of Expression
#20:
The Right to Public Assembly
#21:
The Right to Democracy
#22:
Social Security
#23:
Workers' Rights
#24:
The Right to Play
#25:
Food and Shelter for All
#26:
The Right to Education
#27:
Copyright
#28:
A Fair and Free World
#29:
Responsibility

#30:
No One Can Take Away Your Human Rights!

www.youthforhumanrights.org